Juvenile Misadventures of the ridiculous kind
by WritingStoriesInClass101
Summary: After the war to save the Earth, the residents of Edo did the obvious thing. They reproduced. With their parents being great heroes, the new generation have more trivial worries in this safe new world. Like how much candy can they steal, from uncle Gintoki's stash without getting caught? each chapter includes the misadventures of the children of Gintsu, Okikagu and more.
1. Chapter 1

**Juvenile Misadventures**

 **Chapter one**

" _Breakfast is a hotpot of misunderstandings."_

* * *

 **Sakata Residence:**

"Mama! I think Tokuyou-Nii is dead!" A cute, red-eyed, blonde girl yelled down the stairs.

"Just nudge him a bit with something. I'm sure he'll come back to life then!" Her Father yelled back, from his chair at the dinning table.

He immediately received a kunai to the forehead.

"What kind of advice is that, Gintoki!?" His angry wife, Tsukuyo growled, then, to her daughter, she shouted, "Rie, just gently wake him again, your brother is just pretending to be dead!"

With this, little Rie entered her big brother's room again, and, taking into consideration both of her parents' adivice, proceeded to gently nudge her sleeping sibling with his own practice bokuto.

"Tokuyou-Nii, wake up! Kanna-chan is here!" She screamed into his ear as she aimed a poke right into his belly.

The poor boy instantly got up yelling obscenities that, downstairs, got his father embedded with multiple Kunai.

"Yay, you're awake!" Rie chirped, looking very pleased with herself.

Tokuyou looked at her with bulging violet eyes.

"K-Kanna-chan i-is here?!" He screamed, "I-I got to prepare! Stall her for me will ya, Rie?!"

He then proceeded to try and tame his messy white hair with one hand, and wipe at his facial drool with the other.

Rie watched him for a bit before speaking up, "Actually Nii, I just said that to get you to wake up. Why would Kanna be here this early in the morning?"

Tokuyou stopped his futile attempts to clean up his looks, and gave her a look.

"Geez, Rie! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He growled at his little sister.

"Hurry up and come down, you two!" Tsukuyo yelled.

"Yeah, or else Papa's gonna put some weird stuff into your food!" Gintoki added.

The two kids rushed down the stairs.

"Why's your face all red?" Gintoki asked his son when he sat down, "Did Rie catch you doing something embarrassing in bed? Oi Oi Oi, you're too young to be doing that already. Geez, Kids these days."

Tokuyou's complexion immediately turned even redder.

"What the hell are you talking about, old man!?" He growled, "Rie just tricked me into rubbing at my face, that's why its red!"

In the middle of shoveling extra syrupy pancakes into his mouth, Gintoki replied, "Sure sure, whatever you say kid."

"Yeah, Papa. Nii was doing something really embarrassing in his bed! He even stained the pillow." Rie chimed in, smiling innocently.

In an instant, The rest of her family's faces darkened.

"R-Rie, y-you know about that kind of stuff already?!" Gintoki blubbered, looking at his daughter with horror on his face.

Meanwhile, next to him, Tsukuyo started questioning their parenting, "I-I t-thought with two of us, w-we wouldn't mess up, s-so why, w-why does my six year old know such things? Gintoki what did we do wrong?!" She cried to her husband.

Gintoki, whom was sweating profusely, attempted to calm her down, "H-Hey, don't jump to conclusions just yet. We tried our best didn't we? S-stuff like this is bound to happen with the rubbish they show on the media."

Tokuyou, on the other hand, was just drowning in despair, from the assumptions his parents were making of his activities in bed.

With a deep breath, the boy slammed his hands onto the table.

"WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE THINKING, I WASN'T DOING IT!" He yelled.

His parents stopped their freak out and stared at him.

Rie blinked at her brother as well.

"Yes you did," She told him, "You definitely drooled in your sleep and you got it all over your pillow."

It took a while for her parents to process this information.

When they did, the two heroes that participated in the war to save earth, deflated with utter relief, at the reassurance that their little girl's innocence was still intact.

"Um," Gintoki began, after a while of awkward silence, "Let's just shut up and eat, shall we?"

"Agreed." Tsukuyo and Tokuyou chorused.

Rie, still smiling, continued to eat her breakfast with glee.

* * *

 **Okita Residence:**

While their friends were having a crisis over at their house, The Okitas were having a relatively pleasant meal at their own home.

"Oi Kanna, slow down, you're gonna choke." Sougo berated his daughter, whom not only inherited her mother's hair color and blue eyes, she also had her mother's appetite.

In fact, unfortunately, for his bank account, all of his children had inherited it.

"But Papi, It's sooo good!" Kanna exclaimed, stretching her small arms to show just how delicious the food was.

Sougo smirked and looked at his wife, "Ya heard that? Looks like you've mastered scrambled eggs."

"Hah! Of course I would." Kagura replied proudly, "Eat as much as you want kids, I made plenty!" she told her children, whom all immediately increased their eating speed.

Sougo sighed while watching them literally suck in their food like a vacuum, "This is why we both had to learn the choking safety procedure."

Kagura giggled and playfully slapped at her Husband's arm.

"Mami, Can I go hang out with Kenji later?" Hikaru, the second youngest after Kanna, suddenly asked.

He, unlike his two other siblings, had his father's hair color, but his mother's eyes.

"What? But I'm hanging out with Kenji later!" Kou, the eldest, whom possessed his mother's hair color, with his father's eyes, exclaimed.

"Yeah right! He said he was going to show me the new sword he got!" Hikaru argued.

Now slightly mad, Kou abruptly got up from his seat and leaned in closer to his brother, "He's showing his sword to me!"

The two looked just about ready to fight, when Sougo interceded, by shoving an arm between them.

"That's enough, both of you sit back down." he ordered.

The two boys glared at each other for a bit, but took their seats after seeing what a real glare looked like, courtesy of their father.

Sougo let out a sigh, "Honestly, I'd be happier if you guys were fighting over a girl, and if your argument did not involve who gets to see Kenji's sword." saying the last word with air quotes.

This earned him a poke from Kagura, in the ribs.

"Get your head out of the gutter will ya?" She muttered.

"Yeah yeah. Still, maybe its best that they both don't go." Sougo said to his wife.

"But I wanna go see Kenji's sword!" Hikaru immediately protested.

"Yeah! Its supposed to be a huge sword!" Kou added, "As big as his dad's!"

At this, Kanna's eyes widened with awe, "I wanna see Kenji's sword too!" she squealed.

"No!" Sougo immediately yelled at his daughter, he pointed a shaky finger at her, "You're definitely not gonna see ANY swords until you're thirty, or when I'm dead and can haunt the basta-" he blabbered, before getting smacked at the back of the head by his wife.

"Get a hold of yourself!" She growled.

After shutting up her husband, she turned her attention to her kids.

With one look, she had them all back, sitting properly in their chairs.

"Now," She began, "Kou, Hikaru, both of you can go over to Anego's and see Kenji's sword."

"Yay!" the two boys cheered.

Kagura gave them another look, and they quieted down.

"So Hikaru, you can go after breakfast, and Kou you go fetch him for lunch and when that's over, it's your turn to see Ke-"

"Or they could just go at the same time. They're all friends anyway." Sougo interrupted, looking pouty from being scolded by his wife.

His two son's gave him bewildered looks, "Oh right!" They chorused, "We should just go together!"

Sougo made a face at their lack of thinking.

"Hmp! They obviously inherited your rigid thought capacity." Kagura told him.

"Says the one who didn't think about sending them together, in the first place." Sougo retorted, making his wife's eye twitch.

"Okay, after breakfast we'll go." Kou declared.

"Yeah!" Hikaru let out in agreement.

"Oi, just make sure he shows you his sword in a public setting and, if possible, with his mother around." Sougo warned.

"It's a friggin sword!" Kagura yelled at him.

He turned to her with a dead pan expression, "Hey, last time I said I'd show you my sword, we had him." Sougo said, pointing at Kou.

The boy, obliviously, blinked at his parents, as his mother threw the whole plate of eggs, into his father's face.

* * *

 **Isao Residence:**

"Kenji-kun, put down the sword and come eat breakfast." Otae called to her son.

The bespectacled boy looked at her, "But Haha-ue, Kou and Hikaru are coming over later to see it. It's gotta be extra shiny when they come."

Kondo chuckled, "Showing off your new sword already, huh?"

His son smiled back at him, "Thanks again, Chichi-ue! I'm the first one of all my friends to get an adult-sized katana."

"Well you're capable enough to wield it already so why not?" Kondo replied, looking proud.

"As long as you be careful." Otae added.

The couple settled themselves around the dining table.

"Kenji-kun, c'mon now, you can do that later." Otae chided.

Her son put his sword away and joined them for breakfast.

"Eat up before it gets cold." his mother told him.

To his relief, he found normal food at the table today.

"Chichi-ue, you cooked today?" Kenji asked, looking at Kondo like he was his savior.

Kondo bashfully nodded, ruffling his son's reddish brown hair.

"I thought I'd give your mother a break today, since its my day off, I had time to cook."

Otae lovingly patted her husband's hand.

"I appreciate it." she told him, sweetly.

Me too! Kenji thought to himself as he dug in.

Summer vacation had been somewhat of a roller coaster ride since it meant being home all the time.

In other words, he couldn't avoid his mother's deadly cooking as much as he did, back when he went to school.

Thankfully, there were days like this one that his father stepped in to make an edible meal.

"It's your day off? But it's a Tuesday though, don't you usually have a break on Sundays?" Otae asked her husband.

"Ah well today Old man Matsudaira is doing his annual, 'Take Over' day, where he takes command of one of the many different police departments. I was lucky that this year, he picked the Shinsengumi." Kondo explained.

"Oh that's great, you get to be home all day!" Otae exclaimed, smiling.

Kondo immediately turned red with glee at his wife's apparent happiness over his presence.

"Right? We can finally spend time together and just laze aro-"

"So the roof needs fixing, the sink needs to be checked because it's been draining slowly, the guest bedrooms need new curtains, the tatami in the living room needs to be patched up and since you offered, you're going to be cooking the rest of the meals today as well, right?" Otae interrupted, still with a smile on her face, though this one definitely had a more dangerous aura.

"A-ah of course, Honey! I-I'll do all that today! O-Of course!" Kondo replied, his eyes visibly getting teary as his dreams of spending a lazy day with his wife in bed, shattered to pieces.

Otae placed a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you, dear."

This cheered the Chief of the Shinsengumi a bit, "I'll get right onto those after breakfast. Actually, I already bought the replacement tatami last week!"

Kenji, who had been watching his parents; whole exchange, while stuffing his face with the good food he'd been missing, joined in on the conversation.

"Oh, Chichi-ue, is that why you were at the hardware store at Kabuki-cho last week?" Kenji asked.

Kondos face immediately darkened.

The dangerous smile was back on Otae's face, "The hardware store at Kabuki-cho? The one with the cashier girl that your father called pretty before?"

This time, Kenji's face also darkened.

Did he just dig his father's grave?

"A-ah, eh! Ah M-my memory must be wrong. I think it was a different store and n-not in Kabuki-cho!" He attempted to explain.

"No no, you definitely said it was the one at kabiki-cho. Which, I know by the way, does NOT sell tatami mats." Otae said, then, grabbing her husbands arm tightly, she turned her killer smile onto him, "So, tell me dear, what were you doing at the hardware store that didn't have tatami mats but has a pretty cashier girl?"

Kondo tried to blink away the tears that came from the pain of his wife's grip, "W-wait wait wait, Honey! You've got the wrong idea!" he protested.

With a roar, Otae threw Kondo over her shoulder and put him in a wrestling hold.

"How dare you cheat on me, damn gorilla!?" She growled.

"Haha-ue, s-stop!" Kenji cried, looking scared for his life as well.

"Kenji," Otae began, her voice deep with demonic anger.

"Y-yes!?" Kenji squeaked.

His mother held out her free hand to him, "Your sword, let me borrow it for a bit."

"GYAAAH DON'T GIVE HER THE SWORD, KENJI!" Kondo wailed.

"Shut up you cheater!" Otae yelled at him, she waved her empty hand impatiently at Kenji for the sword.

"Like I said, you got it all wrong, Otae-san!" Kondo pleaded, "I didn't go to the hardware store to cheat on you, I'd never do that!"

But his wife wasn't hearing any of it, with a glare from his mother, Kenji finally handed over his sword and prepared himself to be a single-parent child.

"Wait!" Kondo yelled as Otae unsheathed the katana.

"After I fell in love wih you, even though you were an annoying stalker, how could you betray me like this, Kondo-san!?" Otae wailed as she lifted the sword for the strike.

In one last desperate attempt, Kondo spilled the beans, "I DIDN'T GO TO THE DEPARTMENT STORE FOR THE AVERAGE LOOKING CASHIER GIRL, COMPARED TO YOU! I WENT THERE TO BUY YOU A PRESENT!"

Otae paused her hand.

She blinked for a few seconds at Kondo.

"A present?" Otae squealed, her normal smile back on her face, "Oh let me see it!"

She released her husband from the hold and the poor guy plopped to the ground with relief and exhaustion.

"I-I hid it in the loose tatami over at that corner." Kondo told his wife, in between breaths.

Otae, in a good mood again, shuffled over to the mentioned corner and lifted the tatami there.

She gasped before taking out something big from underneath the mat.

"An Autocooker?" Otae exclaimed, looking at her husband.

"Y-yeah, Don't get me wrong! I l-love your cooking!" Kondo told her, "Righ, kenji?"

"Y-yeah! You always feed us great stuff, Haha-ue!" Kenji replied, assisting his father.

"It's just, I know you get tired from work a lot and you also have to cook at home, so I thought I'd get you something that'd make it easier and less tiring for you." Kondo continued.

Kenji stepped forward and took the Auto-cooker from his mother.

"Yeah Haha-ue. I heard a lot of mothers use this now as well. You basically just prepare the ingredients, like peeling and cleaning, but after that you can just put them all into this chute here, and, after entering your recipe into the machine data, it will cut, chop, season and cook everything for you!" He explained to his mother.

He had to hand it to his dad, this was a genius idea to prevent them from eating dark matter ever again.

"Oh I love it! Thank you, dear!" Otae exclaimed, giving her husband a kiss, "I didn't know such a convenient item existed!"

"R-right?" Kondo and Kenji chorused, "Very convenient!"

Goodbye, Dark matter, they both thought.

* * *

 **The Streets of Edo:**

"Your mother almost killed your father this morning, as well!?" Hikaru exclaimed in disbelief.

Kenji nodded, his face turning green just from the memories.

Kou chuckled, "Our parents are really outrageous huh?"

"I wish they were normal sometimes." Hikaru muttered.

"Normal is boring." Kou scoffed.

They began to squabble.

Kenji sighed, not again.

"Yo! It's you guys!" A familiar voice called.

The Sakata siblings, along with Kanna, came up behind them.

Without a word, Kanna reached her hands into the dust cloud that contained her fighting brothers, and pulled both of them away from each other by the ear.

"Good job, Kana-chan!" Rie cheered.

Ignoring them, Gintoki's eldest made his way towards Kondo's and draped an arm over the boy's shoulders.

"Oi," he began, "Why didn't you invite me over to see your sword?" Tokuyou complained to Kenji.

"Sorry, To-kun. It was just a spur of the moment plan when Hikaru, Kou and I were hanging out yesterday. I didn't have time to call you or ask your parents' permission." Kenji apologized, fixing his glasses after Tokuyou's movements had dislodged them.

"Where'd you hear about it anyway?" Kou asked while rubbing at his ear.

"Kanna-chan told us." Rie replied for her brother, "She was really bummed because you two didn't take her with you."

To show just how disappointed she was to her brothers, Kanna proceeded to avoid looking at them.

Hikaru patted his sister's head, "Sorry Kanna, but you know dad banned you from seeing swords until you're thirty...or something like that." he said, faltering at the end.

The little girl stomped her foot on the ground, "I don't even know what he means by that, I want to see swords!"

At that moment, Gintoki was passing by with Kagura, on a job.

The silver-haired man stared at his foster daughter's child.

"Oi, did you hear that? she wants to see swords already." He told Kagura, "You gonna do something about that or do I have to stop my Rie from hanging out with your kid?"

This earned him an instant punch from the yato.

"Like I said to my idiot husband, Its just a sword!" Kagura screamed.

The kids looked on with grimaces on their faces.

"I think my mom just killed your dad." Hikaru said to Tokuyou.

The boy shrugged, "What's new?"

* * *

 _First chapter done, sorry if the kids were children of ships that you don't ship._

 _Concerning the children's names:_

 _GinTsu: Rie is derived from Kagura's voice actress since Kagura is like a daughter to Gin already. Plus it means 'blessing' which is what little Rie is to her parents._

 _Tokuyou came from the mixture of Tokugawa and Shoyou, which were important people and impactful deaths to Gintoki. Plus it sounds a lot like Tokyo, which is what Edo later became after some time._

 _Okikagu: Kanna is from the actress that played Kagura in the live action, as well as the fact it begins with K, in accordance to how Kouka and Umibozu named their kids. Plus, just imagine how cute it sounds with Sougo and Kagura's voice calling out to their daughter 'Kanna-chan'_

 _Kou's name is a tribute to Kouka but also to Mitsuba since Mitsu in her name means light and the Kanji I chose for Kou also means light._

 _Hikaru, just like Kamui and Kagura, whom share a kanji with each other in their name, he also has the same kanji as Kou, meaning light , as another tribute to his aunt Mitsuba._

 _KonTae: let's be honest, Otae would have ALL the say when it comes to naming their kid. Kenji is derived from the mixture of Ken(Otae's father) and Hajime(Hajime Obi, someone that also meant a lot to Otae), hence Kenji, plus it can mean 'sacred sword' which relates to Kondo as well._

 _Anyway, if there are anymore kids you want me to add to this, that belongs to people that weren't already mentioned here, go ahead, suggestions are welcome._

 _Til next chapter~_


	2. Chapter 2

_**First of all, thank you for the great responses to this story. I'm glad there are people interested in reading it.**_

 _ **Review Responses:**_

 _ **C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Nice username! And IKR? the father's are probably strong like they are because they survive their wives eveyday. Thanks and hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**_

 _ **Guest: Like requested, prepare for some Mutsu and Sakamoto and their child! I dunno if I will make the other two couples though, especially since this is the first I heard of Hijikata X Nobume, but we'll see. Hope you like this one as well!**_

 _ **Mailrebel: nice username! Yay I'm glad you found it funny, I wasn't sure how to do the humor at first since it involved kids, but glad it worked out! here you go, Spoiler alert: Sakamoto and Mutsu! And since I was actually considering those two others you mentioned, look forward to their kid debut as well! Hope you have fun in this chapter again!**_

 _ **YungHime: Thanks! I'm mad happy you liked it! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**_

 _ **ilhamblasterman: really? thanks! Happy for the compliment. Don't worry, I love GinTsu as well so there will be more moments! Hope you like this chapter as well!**_

* * *

 _"New friends can either be a blessing or a curse, old friends are just a pain in the *beep*"_

 **At the Terminal:**

"Oi, Stay still will ya?" Gintoki scolded his son.

Tokuyou gave him a blank look, before pulling down on one eye and sticking out his tongue.

"Make me old man!" He snided before running off again.

"Nii!" Rie squealed at her brother, attempting to go after him, but unable to due to her mother's tight grip on her hand.

"Rie, if you stay put, Mama will buy you an ice cream later." Tsukuyo offered.

To which the girl immediately responded to with a determined look, putting herself in an almost statue like stance.

"You don't have to stay that still, though." Tsukuyo commented, noticing her daughter's reaction.

Beside her, Gintoki sighed, "Should I get the run-away brat before they arrive?" he asked his wife.

From a short distance away, they could spot Tokuyou playing in the decorative fountain, splashing couples sitting nearby.

Tsukuyo found herself smiling at her son's antics, "No, it's okay, let him be for now. He'll probably just come back on his own when they arrive. You know how much he adores his uncle Sakamoto."

Gintoki let out a 'Tch!' as he cringed at Tokuyou got chased off by a terminal guard, he did not move to get him back, though.

"That Sakamoto better bring back plenty of gifts and souvenirs, after what he did to our place on his last visit." The stressed-out father muttered.

His wife let out a small laugh before caressing her husband's frowning face.

"You say that, yet you actually can't wait to see your friend again, right?" She chortled.

Unable to keep his face looking angry under his wife's touch, Gintoki begrudgingly smiled.

"As long as he at least brings the kids something, I'm good." he declared.

Watching her parents converse, Rie couldn't keep in her curiosity any longer.

"Mama, Is Uncle Sakamoto nice?" She asked, having been only a toddler the last time the merchant had come to Earth.

"He's nice, but also very...How do I say this?" Tsukuyo replied, trying to think of the right word.

"He's very weird." Gintoki suggested.

In an instant, he found himself on the ground, after a hard kick in the rear.

* * *

"That's mean, Kintoki! Don't believe him kid, I'm cool, just look at my sunglasses! Ahahaha!" A very familiar voice said with a very familiar laugh.

From the ground, Gintoki grumbled, "Shit, its here."

Earning himself another kick.

"Who are you calling an 'it'?" a hurt Sakamoto asked.

"You, You're definitely an 'It'." A deep female voice replied.

There, standing behind him, sporting a slightly more feminine outfit than her previous ones, was Mutsu.

Clutching her hand and looking at Rie with wide eyes was a little boy.

Tsukuyo spotted him, "Oh, I see you've grown up quite a bit, Shou." giving the boy a smile.

To her surprise, the child let go of his mother's hand and gave her a deep bow.

"I know we already met before, but that was when I was a small child. Allow me to introduce myself again. I am Shou, It's very nice to meet you!" The boy said in a firm voice.

Stopping herself from smiling, Tsukuyo bowed back to him, "It's nice to meet you too, Shou, I am Tsukuyo. You can call me Tsukki if you wish."

At this, Shou gave her a bewildered look, "No, I cannot! Please, may I call you Aunt Tsukuyo?"

"Oi oi, Relax Shou-kun, You don't have to be so formal, Tsukuyo, Rie and Tokuyou are family! And their pet Kintoki, Aahaha!" His father joked, giving his son a few pats on the back.

Gintoki immediately gave his old friend a kick in the face, "Who are you calling a pet? If anything, Mutsu and Shou are the family and you're the piece of bubblegum that got stuck under their shoes!"

"B-bubblegum!?" Sakamoto shrieked, "You're the stray hairs that get stuck on the drain in your family's shower!"

"H-hair!? Oi, it's not that curly, in fact, It's actually become more tame lately!" Gintoki replied, completely straying off topic after his insecurities were revisited.

The two old friends immediately began to squabble.

Passers by began to stare at their group and the two wives started to feel more and more embarrassed of their husbands.

The children, on the other hand, just stared with the 'We're used to it' look, at their fathers.

"Mutsu, help me!" Sakamoto yelled as Gintoki got the upper hand and put him in a headlock.

His wife gave him a glare, "Die, annoying bubblegum."

"Ha! She just gave up on you!" Gintoki laughed.

"You've got no room to talk, disgusting hairball, join him in the afterlife." Tsukuyo told her husband.

"But Honey!" The two simultaneously whined to their wives.

* * *

By the time the two idiots stopped fighting, Tsukuyo had already convinced little Shou to call her 'Aunt Tsukki' and Mutsu had gotten the approval of Rie, by letting her play with her long hair while they waited for the two immature men to stop fighting. Since Rie's whole family had short hair, this was definitely a treat for her.

The two husbands made their way back to their wives, exhausted.

"You two look like hell." Mutsu commented as they arrived.

"No, Gintoki always looks like that." Tsukuyo replied, eyeing her husband's messy hair, and dirty, bored face.

Rie, on the other hand, showed more concern for her father's condition and ran up to him.

"Papa," She began, cupping his face with her little hands, "You okay?"

This immediately made Gintoki smile.

He grabbed his daughter and gave her a hug, "Yeah, don't worry, Papa's good."

It was at this moment that Tokuyou arrived and, after seeing his father's messy appearance, rushed to Gintoki's side.

"Papa, what happened?" He asked, looking worried.

Gintoki let out a sad sigh, "The guard that chased you away from the fountain came looking for you," Gintoki began, getting a gasp out of Tokuyou, he continued, "But I couldn't give up my own son so I told him," changing his voice into a pleading tone, "'Please sir, if you want someone to punish, punish me instead! Just not my boy!'" back to his normal voice, "And so he beat the shit out of me." he finished with a shrug.

Tokuyou instantly burst into tears and hugged his father, "I'm so sorry Papa!" he bawled.

"What the hell, Gintoki!?" Tsukuyo shrieked, hitting her Husband in the back of the head.

* * *

 **At a restaurant at the Terminal:**

"Nii, This is Shou-kun, introduce yourself, Nii!" Rie told her brother, poking him with his untouched chopsticks.

Tokuyou ignored her and continued to pout in his seat.

They were having lunch, but Tokuyou refused to eat, let alone talk to anyone.

Rie turned back to Shou, "Sorry, Nii is just shy that you saw him crying."

"I am not!" Tokuyou immediately defended himself, "I'm just still mad at that damn old man for tricking me like that!"

"Well you did disobey Papa and ran off." Rie replied, as she tried and failed to grab the food on her plate, with her chop sticks.

"I gotta get him back somehow." Tokuyou muttered, rubbing at his chin, "Oh! I should put curling formula in his shampoo! Ha! He'd have a cloud-head."

Rie grimaced at her brother's idea, "Nii, Papa won't like that, You'll get punished."

"Tokuyou-kun, you don't like your papa?" Shou suddenly asked, interrupting the siblings' conversation.

Tokuyou looked at him with surprise, "I-Its not like I hate him or anything, Just he gets on my nerves and we argue a lot, b-but-"

"But Nii still loves Papa and looks up to him! That's why he always starts a fight with Papa, he wants to be as strong as him!" Rie finished for her brother.

Blushing, Tokuyou growled at his sister, "Like heck I am! What gave you that idea!?"

Rie dropped her chop sticks and, with her bare hands, grabbed the food and ate it, "Mama told me!" she said while chewing.

Shou immediately burst out laughing, "You two are interesting!"

Then, catching himself doing something he deemed improper, Shou covered his mouth and tried to act like he did not just laugh at his new acquaintances.

"Oi, you don't have to be so uptight all the time, ya know?" Tokuyou told him.

"Uptight? But Okaa-san taught me to always be behaved and, to quote Okaa-san, 'Don't be like Otou-san.'" Shou argued.

"Is that so?" Tokuyou began, picking his nose, managing to look disinterested in a conversation that he himself started, "If you ask me, that's a boring way to live your life. You're a kid, How old are you? Eight? Act like a kid!"

Totally absorbed with Tokuyou's talk, Shou leaned in closer to the boy, "Like a kid? How?!"

Tokuyou flicked a booger away, "Simple, do what you want, say what you want, laugh, cry, make mistakes, be stupid." he told the bewildered boy, "You've only got a limited time to act like this so make the best of it."

Shou stared in awe at the boy picking his nose, his eyes had been opened.

"Shou, you done eating? Let's go wash your hands." Mutsu called to her son.

With a determined look on his face and a wild twinkle in his eyes, Shou got up and faced his mother, "No, I like it when my hands still smell like food, that way when I'm hungry again, I can just lick them."

Mutsu made a face, "That doesn't even make sense." But she sighed and let him be.

Breathing hard, Shou turned back to the Sakata siblings, "I did it!"

"Yeah, you did it, You made yourself look like an idiot." Tokuyou told him, "Licking your hand when you're hungry again? What the heck is that?"

"Shut up! You can't tell me what to do! I'm a kid so I can be stupid!" Shou yelled before stalking away.

As he passed by his father and Uncle Gintoki, whom were both enjoying a parfait each, the boy knocked both glasses to the ground, stuck his tongue out at them and ran off.

Tokuyou watched on with horror, as his father fell to his knees and cried for his parfait, while Sakamoto kept muttering 'My son, what happened to my son?".

"Rie," the boy began, "What have I unleashed?" he asked in a small voice.

"Apocalypse." Little Rie replied.

* * *

 **Kabuki-cho:**

"I'm so sorry!" Shou cried, bawling against his mother.

After her son's behavior, Mutsu had gone and tracked him down, talked to him for a bit and, by the time they got back, Shou was back to his normal self again, much to Tokuyou's relief.

"Sorry about that," Mutsu apologized to Gintoki, whom was still teary eyed after mourning his fallen parfait.

"Being surround and raised by the whole Kaientai, Shou can be easily influenced by others' behaviors, depending on who he is with. He's very well behaved and clear minded with me but he can also be very loud and noisy with his father, as well as adopting the crew's personality when he's around them." Mutsu explained whilst hugging her crying son.

Tsukuyo looked at the boy with wonder, "Well then, what is he like when he's just by himself?"

At this, Mutsu smiled, "By himself, he's a quiet boy that really cares about the people around him. In the ship, he has his own room where he invents things to make some of the crew's job easier for them, Most don't work though, but its the thought that counts."

Hearing this, Tokuyou's interest became peaked, "You invent stuff, Shou?" he asked, excitedly.

Peeking from behind his mother's arms, Shou gave him a small nod.

"What about it?" The boy croaked, still sniffling.

"Cool!" Rie exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Tokuyou agreed, then a thought occurred to him, "Oh! You've got to meet Kou! He's smart like that too! Though he mostly does pranks, its still kind of the same thing."

At the word 'pranks' Shou's parents instantly looked concerned.

"We're actually gonna meet Kou and his brother and sister now, you wanna come?" Tokuyou continued.

"I don't think that's a good i-" Mutsu began, only to be stopped by her son.

"Okaa-san, please can I go? I promise I won't pick up anything, I'll be good." Shou pleaded, giving his mother a dose of puppy dogs eyes.

Behind Mutsu, Gintoki and Tsukuyo became indirectly hit by it and immediately began voicing their opinions about Shou's going.

"Maybe you should let him go, he looks sincere about behaving." Tsukuyo commented.

"Yes, Okaa-san, I swear I'll behave! Please Okaa-san!" Shou begged.

"Yeah, Please Okaa-san!" Gintoki repeated.

With a punch, she sent the idiot samurai flying, then, with her other hand, she caressed her son's cheek.

"Alright, Just be careful, okay?" Mutsu told him.

Shou dived at his mother with a hug, "Thank you, Okaa-san!"

Sakamoto stepped forward and patted his son's head, "Be back by dinner, or else Otou-san's gonna eat your share, ahaha!"

"I will, Otou-san!" Shou replied, giving his father a hug as well.

Then, remembering his manners, he gave the four adults a bow.

"Well then, I'll be off." he told them.

"Yeah, see ya!" Tokuyou said, giving a bored wave.

"Bye Mama! Bye Papa! Bye Uncle Sakamoto! Bye Aunt Mutsu!" Rie shouted.

* * *

On their way to the Okita's, Tokuyou began giving Sou his own version of the low down on his friends.

"So Kou, Hikaru and Kanna are siblings. Kou and Hikaru fight all the time because that's their thing. While Kanna is cute all the time because that's her thing. Kenji has glasses and a sword and he's normal, that's his thing. I'm the cool one , that's my thing. Rie is not as cute as Kanna, that's her thing. Got that?" immediately earning himself a small bite on the arm from his little sister.

"Stop lying, Nii!" Rie scolded.

Shou gave them both a face, "I'm confused."

"Don't worry, Shou-kun," Rie told him, "Kou likes to prank people but he's good inside. Hikaru is the nicer of the two brothers, he likes learning how to use a sword, Kana is my best friend and she's very nice but she can also be super strong and when her brothers fight, she stops them. Kenji is smart and very polite, he's the one that stops the rest of the boys, especially Nii, from doing stupid things. Nii is the one that gets everyone to do stupid things but gets lazy halfway and stops. He's nice though." The little girl filled Shou in.

"Wooow, thanks Rie. And what are you in the group?" Tokuyou snided.

"I'm the sweet one that looks after everyone after Nii makes them do something stupid!" The little girl said with a smile.

This got a small laugh from Shou.

"You guys all sound like fun." He said, "I hope I can fit in as well."

"Don't worry," Rie told him, "You will, Because you're nice too!"

Shou turned red all over, this being the first time he had ever been complimented, by someone other than people in the Kaientai.

"Thanks." He said, genuinely.

"Oh," Tokuyou began, remembering something, "Just to warn ya, Kanna is off limits. She and I sort of have a thing."

"No you don't! You're too shy to even talk to her sometimes." Rie argued.

Tokuyou turned redder than Shou, "S-shut up!" He cried.

* * *

 _About Mutsu and Sakamoto's kid's name: I chose Shou because it means to fly or to soar, which seems fitting for the son of space merchants whom have soared far and beyond._

 _*If you guys have name suggestions for other couple's kids I have not introduced yet, feel free to say them._

 _Til next time~!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Mailrebel: Well I find your username cool. Thanks, glad I'm not making the interactions weird or out of character, also very happy that you liked Mutsu, it was hard characterizing her as a mother, then I saw that she pretty much mothers Sakamoto anyway, and it got easier lol. Yeah Rie is gonna be the cuteness queen of this series, and Tokuyou, as well as Kenji and Kou, are eleven, which is the oldest age of the kids that will be featured here. Sorry about the confusion, that's my fault because I actually wrote him a bit older in the first chapter, but decided that it was weird for a 12 year old to have a crush on an eight year old Kanna, so I lowered his age, plus a dash of immaturity. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only:Haha sorry that you find Sakamoto's laugh annoying, it actually makes me feel like laughing along whenever I hear it, but to each their own. Glad you like Mutsu and Shou. Also, don't worry, I promise to show many other pairings and their kids in the future, as for Shinpachi... Are pandemoniums and humans able to have a kid together? haha! Hope you like this one too!**

 **ilhamblasterman: As much as I love GinTsu, I don't think I'll put a lot of focus on the parents and the pairings for that generation, this is a story mostly about the kids, but I might put in a small Ginstu scene here and there, don't worry. Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

 **Elfetrange: Aw thanks, glad you liked the story and enjoyed it. Makes me really happy. As for your questions, I actually thought about this stuff, but, I plan to address them inside the story itself, basically in a way that the kids discover more and more things about their parents and their parents' friends and past. That's why I don't put fourth wall explanations about them, so you gotta stay tuned hehe! (Good strategy too keep people reading right? lol) Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

* * *

 _"Different Generation, Same annoyance."_

"I'm bored." Kanna whined.

The kids were on a school field trip at the Edo museum and it was being a snooze.

The eldest Sakata child watched and waited until their chaperone was out of earshot.

With a hand, he gestured for the others to stop.

"Hey guys," the eleven year old menace began, "I just thought of something fun."

Rie gave her brother a look, every time he said that phrase, they always got into trouble.

"Nii!" She complained.

Tokuyou waved a lazy hand at her, "Don't worry, its not gonna be like the other times. This time its gonna be really great, and we won't be caught at all!"

The Okita siblings immediately brightened up, "Let's do it!" They chorused.

Kenji made a face as he watched his cousins get excited, "This won't end well." He sighed.

As quietly as their little feet could be, the brats snuck out of sight of their oblivious field trip group.

With a trollish smile, reminiscent of his father, Tokuyou turned to his friends, "Follow me."

* * *

"Woah!" Hikaru let out.

The kids had managed to find themselves at the historical wars exhibit.

There they stood in awe at the monument that was erected at the very entrance.

Little Rie came up beside her brother, pulling at his sleeve frantically.

"Nii, is that Mama?" She asked whilst pointing at the silver likeness of Tsukuyo, that was a part of the monument.

With his mouth hanging open, Tokuyou nodded.

His eyes weren't focused on his mother though.

There, at the very center of the display, surrounded by all the kids' parents and relatives, was his father, Sakata Gintoki in shining silver.

The boy's throat had ran dry, his eyes unable to leave the expression on his father's face, an expression so different from his usual dead-fish-eyed one.

Beside him, another son was also having a strange reaction to the display.

With the scar being very prominent in silver, Kenji couldn't help stare at it on his Father's face.

Next to him, looking elegant and strong at the same time, was his mother.

"They look so..." Kenji began, unable to find the words to describe all the things the monument made him feel.

"Amazing!" Kou exclaimed, completing Kenji's sentence for him.

The boy ran up to Sougo and Kagura's silver versions.

The two were positioned next to each other, Kagura's umbrella and Sougo's sword, held out by their owners, side by side, with powerful looks on their faces.

"Cool!" the boy let out, his eyes reflecting the sparkle of the silver.

"Mami and Papi look so strong." Kanna commented, appearing next to her brother.

"Right?" Kou agreed, excitedly.

Hikaru wordlessly made his way to his siblings as well.

He looked up at his parents, but his eye drifted to the man beside his father.

"Uncle Hijikata looks cool as well." He let out.

With a radio on one hand, and his sword on the other, the demon vice-chief looked like he was paused in a moment of danger, and was turned into silver.

"Yeah, he does look good in his pose," Kou agreed.

It was then that he spotted something in the monument.

His face went dark, "What's that though?"

Following the direction he was pointing at, the others found themselves also grimacing.

"Is that who I think it is?" Kenji asked.

The rest nodded solemnly.

There, behind the breathtaking figures of the main heroes of the war, was a huddled, beat-up, dressed in cardboard, Madao.

"Why the hell did they add him to the monument in the first place, if they were just gonna put him in such an embarrassing position!?" Kenji yelled.

"Somehow I feel really sorry for Uncle Hasegawa." Tokuyou muttered, rubbing at his chest uncomfortably.

Hikaru made a face, "I think everyone feels sorry for Uncle Madao."

"Don't call him Madao then if you feel sorry, Oi!" Kenji scolded.

The Okita siblings shrugged, "It's what Mami calls him."

"What are you teaching your kids, Aunt Kagura!?" Kenji exclaimed.

Tokuyou tapped the stressed out boy on the shoulder, "Relax Kenji-yo. If you keep straight-manning like that, you're gonna end up like Uncle Glasses."

"Your father is not teaching you good things either!" Kenji snapped at him, "It's uncle Shinpa-"

The boy paused, realized what he was saying.

In an instant, he was on his knees, his hands covering his face, "Wah! I'm turning into Uncle Glasses!"

"Its okay, Kenji-kun, I like Uncle Glasses." Rie said while patting his head.

"That doesn't help." Kenji sobbed through his fingers.

* * *

The others grimaced at their sobbing friend.

"Kenji, tone it down a bit, will ya?" Tokuyou told him.

"Yeah, You're being too loud." Kou agreed.

Just as he said that, the chaperone that they had snuck out on, appeared around the corner.

"There you are!" He shrieked.

The kids gasped.

"Run!" Tokuyo yelled.

The kids immediately began to flee.

"Kyaa!" Kanna let out, though she looked more like she was having fun, than scared.

"Aaah, It's the plain face!" Kou shouted.

"Stop calling me that, Oi!" Their chaperone whined.

"Go choke on some anpan!" Hikaru snided.

"That's not something a kid should say to an adult!" The poor guy cried.

"What adult? All I see is a forty year old virgin!" Tokuyou replied.

"I'm not a virgin! Stop spreading around that I am!" The man shouted.

"What's a virgin?" Rie asked.

"Gyaah! Don't say that word Rie, your father will kill me!" The chaperone screamed.

Just as the kids were about to out run him, The chaperone was blessed by the passing by of a tour group, whom blocked the children's path.

"Move!" Tokuyou desperately yelled.

He was almost through the crowd of tourist, when a hand grabbed him by the collar.

"Got ya!" The chaperone said triumphantly.

Tokuyou turned to face him, an angry look on his face.

With one hand, he gave the chaperone the middle finger, "Fuck you, Jimmy."

The chaperone's eye twitched, "That's Uncle Yamazaki to you!"

* * *

Yamazaki sighed, "Seriously, I only did this chaperone thing as a favor to your parents. Cut me some slack will ya? I'm not enjoying myself here either."

Tokuyou made a face at him.

"You know you shouldn't tell the kids you want to get along with, that you aren't enjoying their company." The brat retorted.

"You're the ones who ran out on me though!" Yamazaki replied.

They were outside the museum now.

After that chase and disrupting the tours, their group had been kicked out.

Six kids and one Jimmy sat on the outside steps, with solemn faces.

"What are we gonna do now, Uncle Yamazaki?" Kanna asked, her chin resting on both hands, looking bored again.

The spy looked around them at their surroundings.

His eyes lit up when he spotted something nearby.

"Hey, you kids hungry?" Yamazaki asked, enthusiastically.

Waving a hand at him, Hikaru replied, "What's there to eat?"

Yamazaki pointed behind them.

"Pick what you want." He said as the kids' eyes widened at the sight he indicated to.

There, in the midst of being set up, was a food fair.

"Yay!" They chorused, immediately getting up.

"I want something sweet!" Rie squealed.

"Me too! You think they have candied apples?" Tokuyou added.

"I just want any food that isn't burned to oblivion." Kenji muttered.

"I'm gonna eat everything!" Kou declared.

"You mean that metaphorically right?" Yamazaki asked, worried.

"Meta-what-what? And I mean it like I'm gonna eat everything!" Kou replied.

"Everything!" Kanna repeated.

"Everything!" Hikaru said a third time.

With that, the kids ran off towards the stalls.

"Gyaah! Wait, your parents didn't give me enough money for 'everything'!" Yamazaki screamed, "Wait!"

* * *

After seriously depleting their uncle's personal funds.

The kids and their now depressed uncle, were walking back to their homes.

"Thanks uncle Yamazaki!" Kanna said with the sweetest smile, patting her satisfied belly.

Trying to smile back, Yamazki replied, "S-sure, anytime Kanna-chan."

"Hey Uncle Yamazaki, are you crying a bit?" Kou asked, noticing a slight shine around the spy's eyes.

"N-nah, I just finished yawning, that's all. Hih!" Yamazaki let out.

"If you're not crying, what was that sobbing noise just now?" Hikaru asked.

Kenji patted him on the shoulder, "Guys, I think you should drop it, The man is barely keeping it in."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Yamazaki shouted before covering his face with his arms and bursting into tears.

* * *

"What's up with him?" Tokuyou asked, pointing at the still teary Yamazaki.

"To-kun, have some tact, weren't you following anything that was going on just now?" Kenji asked.

The boy shrugged his shoulders, "Not really."

Kenji sighed, deciding not to pursue the matter further.

"Sorry," Tokuyou apologized, "I was thinking about something, I didn't realize."

"What were you thinking about, Nii?" Rie asked.

Tokuyou scratched at the back of his head, "I can't get that monument out of my head. It's just really unbelievable."

"I mean," He continued, "How come they looked so amazing, strong and whatever in that monument, but so different in real life?"

The other kids silently nodded in agreement, it was quite puzzling to them.

The parents they had grown up with seemed nothing like those hardcore heroes portrayed in the monument.

Their silver versions exuded power, beauty, bravery and, in the kids' opinions, looked super cool.

Yet, in their everyday life, all their parents exuded were boogers, laziness, violence, dumb jokes and outright goofiness.

* * *

Deep in thought about their parents, the children failed to notice that Yamazaki had stopped crying.

"They're different in real life because that's how they really are." The spy said out loud.

six confused eyes stared back at him.

He gave them a small smile.

"Your parents, the way they act now, that's just who they really are, and who they have always been." Yamazaki continued, "Sure, that monument caught them, caught us, in a moment where we looked cool or amazing, and then you compare that to what you see everyday and it looks really different. But its not. That part depicted by the monument, and the part you kids are exposed to at home, makes up your parents' whole selves. The reason why you don't really see the previous part that much is because we don't need to pull it out of ourselves right now. We live in peaceful times nowadays, and your parents are happy and living a great life because they have you kids. They may not have to take up weapons now to protect what they love, but they still do it in different ways, They protect you by teaching you what's right and wrong, they protect you by scolding you even if you feel like it's unfair, they protect you when they act like total idiots because you know, by their stupid antics and actions, that there is nothing to worry about. Because that part shown in the monument is not surfacing, then that means all is well."

The kids continued to stare at him.

He made a face, "Er, do you guys get what I'm saying?"

The children simultaneously tilted their heads to the side.

"Kinda." Kou replied.

Yamazaki sighed, finding it both amusing and exasperating.

"Just don't worry about it, is what I'm trying to say." He said, he looked up at the now orange and red sky, "twelve years ago, Your parents fought in the war for Earth, so they could protect and save what they love. They fought so that you kids, and the rest of the future generations, are able to act like absolute idiots and be carefree. They fought, so that your only worries now, are who has a crush on who, and how late are you allowed to stay up. They fought, so that they themselves can be carefree and act like idiots, like they do now, along with the brats they love. So kids, don't worry about it and...well, just appreciate your parents from time to time, okay?"

The kids, though still looking slightly confused, nodded.

"Okay." They replied.

Somehow, they felt like their uncle had just said something really important, and, even though they couldn't really understand it right now, they would try their best to follow what he told them.

"Thanks, Uncle Zaki." Tokuyou told the spy.

Yamazaki found himself grinning at them, he still couldn't believe that those ragtag bunch of weirdos, produced great kids like these.

"Let me pay you back with advice as well. You want to get rid of your forty year old virgin status right?" Tokuyou added.

The kid just couldn't let his uncle rest.

"You little brat! I'm not a forty year old virgin!" Yamazaki screamed, as the kids began to ran away from him, laughing their heads off.

"Papa said lying is bad, Uncle Zaki!" Tokuyou teased.

"Yeah, just accept that you're still a virgin, Uncle Jimmy!" Kou added.

"What's a virgin, again?" Rie asked.

"Gyaah! seriously, stop it you brats!" Yamazaki screamed.

* * *

 _Hope you guys enjoyed it.  
_

 _Til next time~!_


End file.
